bujo

How I Overcame My Crippling Anxiety…

Elina SelfCare, Uncategorized

What Happened? Where did I disappear to? I know I’ve been M.I.A.  baby… Craft Made Simple has taken the last place in my life while I was focusing on myself and my family… Sometimes you need to take time to take a look at what you are doing and decide whether what you are doing is working for you and for your life… 

Really odd selfie I admit but in case you forgot how I look… this is how… I should have taken a picture with a newspaper haha

I started with a clear vision with what I wanted to do on Craft Made Simple… But at some point, I started to waver from the path and eventually I just shut down… Why? Because of my constant anxiety… I never knew that it was an issue until it became a monster…

Basically, it used to govern my days and when I could, I liked to stay safe putting up videos on youtube and creating content is really scary… Getting your stuff out there for everyone to see and judge at some point became really scary especially when I saw how much subscribers I’ve gained. It might seem silly to some but this is real I was really scared out of my mind and at some point the stress of making and editing the videos and putting up blog post became too much to handle and so I thought I might just let this week slide and focus on me one week became a month and so forth…

I really love sharing my thoughts with all my subscribers and all of you who love and support me. But at some point I just couldn’t I have kept up my Instagram barely…

So this is what I have done… I started to meditate, my god this was one of those things that really made me more centered but this happened rather gradually… but it happened none the less… I’m much more aware of my anxiety now than I was before and identifying an anxiety episode gives you much more power over it you know what’s happening and that it will be over soon… 

My habit tracker…

I started to exercise regularly I love my stationary bike… it got me through the worst of my anxiety if you don’t know how exercise helps with the anxiety I encourage you to read this book: ‘Jog On: How Running Saved My Life’ by Bella Mackie. It showed me how exercise routinely could save me from my constant worrying… I’m not saying that I’m cured or that you should exercise yourself till death… What I am saying is that as with everything in life you need a holistic approach especially to your mental health… Exercise is just one component of the things that I’ve done to make my anxiety manageable. But it was certainly an important one.

Here is my stationary bike. I love my Viking!

Reading and or listening ‘self-help’ genre of books… At some point, I had enough of them because I thought everyone was going on about the same list of things and some just emphasized one item on that list more than the others… But it was still the same basic list…

Listen… knowing stuff and doing stuff are two completely different things, they exist in two completely different universes. Information is cheap and knowledge is everywhere… you can get informed easily and if you are reading this blogpost this means you have an internet connection this means you can google just about anything and get tons of resources that will tell you anything from how to set up your routines to how to eat, etc. You can come by information, expert advice, advice from an average Jane like me, fairly easily. But it all means nothing if you don’t apply it onto your life. And I was listening to all the right people but I wasn’t applying it. And when I started to apply this is where the magic happened… This is where my life started to change. And usually the change is fairly gradual and you want it to be that way. Change is big quantities is usually not manageable long term you want gradual change. The one positive habit will lead to the next one. 

bujo and stuff
Having fun with my Bullet Journal

I’ve read The Bullet Journal Method by Ryder Caroll at the beginning of this year and I recommend this book to anyone that needs a system for how to plan daily and systematically keeping up with their life no matter how busy you are. I made my husband read it and he has his own bujo and is using it daily, where before I found his scraps of paper all over our apartment with information on it that I didn’t know was useful or not…

Selfcare at the end of the day is a cup of tea with camomille and cinnamon and fresh air, this picture was taken on our balcony where I grow loads of plants

Selfcare is so important and with selfcare, I mean taking care of my emotional and physical needs. Going to bed early, taking it slow on low energy days, just being mindful about my needs and not ignoring them and then blaming everyone that they are not met. I used to do this and I’m still so grateful to my husband for pointing it out that it was a victim mentality state of mind. My life needs to be my priority, if something is going wrong in it, like my anxiety attacks, constant night terrors and constant worrying about every single thing that can go wrong and this was a daily routine of mine, then I need to figure out what I need to do or arrange so that my needs are being met. I want you to hear me when  I say this: nobody is responsible for your life. Even if someone is taking care of you, your attitude and disposition is your responsibility.

Also one of the things I did was, I stopped drinking coffee… Hahahahaha, no not really, I certainly cut down on it… I’m drinking decaf… and sometimes I go for the real deal… This has also helped me keep myself on the more centered side less jittery…

Maya and decaf
coffee and audiobooks

So now I exercise daily and I meditate almost daily I do slip but it doesn’t matter what matters is that I do it. I’m keeping my bullet journal the longest I’ve skipped in it was half of the month of April because we got ourselves a dog and it was pretty overwhelming those first few weeks we needed some adjustment. And in hindsight with all my senses in overdrive, I see now that it was in my best interest to keep it but I was just too overwhelmed to even think about it.

This is my favorite app to stay on top of my meditation, I’m not sponsored or anything I genuinely love it

And with all this being said and done, no my anxiety is not ‘over’ but it is under control. I feel like I’m in a better place than I was before and so this was a long-winded way of saying that I want to come back into the swing of things I want to make more blog posts. I want to share with you what I’m doing and crafting and hopefully inspire you along the way! Happy to be back!

One last thing. Please believe in yourself and believe that you are enough! Say this to yourself every day!

I have this as a background on my laptop

Yours truly,

Elina